December 29, 2025

In the Gym is Where I Take Up Space

By Lylah Ruparel

I’m 4’11”.

That’s something people notice before they notice anything else about me. It’s a number that follows me on doctor’s charts, team rosters, and sometimes in the way people talk around me instead of to me. But in the gym, I don’t feel small. I take up enough space to be a giant among giants.

I started competing in gymnastics when I was six years old. At that age, I didn’t have the words for pressure, identity, or belonging. I just knew how it felt to walk into the gym and feel right. My body knew what to do. My voice didn’t feel too loud or too quiet. I didn’t have to explain myself. As I got older, that feeling became rarer everywhere else. Middle school. High school. Online.  Classrooms. Even friendships. There were more rules about how to show up; how confident was too confident, how emotional was too emotional, how strong was too strong. I learned, like most girls do, to edit myself depending on the room and who was in it.

But the gym was different. On my team, I never performed. I just showed up.

The Gym: Where Effort Outweighs Image

People say sports build confidence. I think that’s true but not because you win. Confidence comes from being in a place where effort counts more than how you look doing it. Where being sweaty, frustrated, loud, exhausted, or emotional doesn’t disqualify you from belonging.

On my team, no one cares if you're having a bad hair day or if you cry after a rough practice. What matters was that you try, that you keep going, that we show up for each other.

I’ve seen girls who weren’t the strongest or the most consistent become the heart of the team because they were present, supportive, and trusted. I’ve also seen girls who were incredibly talented slowly disconnect when they stopped feeling like they mattered beyond their scores.

That difference isn’t about skill. It’s about belonging. Research backs this up: studies show that girls are more likely to stay in sports when they feel socially connected and valued; not just successful (Allen, 2003; Slater & Tiggemann, 2011). Most girls don’t quit because they aren’t good enough. They quit because they stop feeling seen.

I’m Tiny but Mighty Because of My Team

Gymnastics didn’t just teach me how to flip or land safely. It taught me how to exist in my body without apology. Before I ever trusted my voice in a classroom, I trusted it in the gym. I learned how to speak up when something didn’t feel right. I learned how to listen to my body when something felt off. I learned how to be accountable, not because I was scared of getting in trouble, but because my teammates were counting on me. Ms Arana, co-founder and artistic director of NYC Kids Project, reinforced this during our interview "Girls are trained to dismiss what they know about their bodies but when they start listening and speaking up, they help each other." 

Psychologists talk about adolescence as a critical time for identity development, a time when girls need spaces that allow exploration without punishment (Eccles & Barber, 1999). For me, gymnastics was one of the first places where I got to practice being myself before the world told me who I should be. The lessons didn’t stay in the gym. They followed me into leadership roles in school, into advocating for myself, and into building HERcovery.

When injury Tested Belonging

Injury is where you find out if a team really sees you. I’ve been injured. I’ve watched teammates get injured. And I’ve noticed something important: the girls who stay connected during injury are the ones who feel like they still belong.

Some of the hardest days weren’t about pain but about not being able to do what I loved. But what kept me grounded was knowing I still had a place. I could support my teammates, stay involved, still be me even when my body needed time. Ms Scott, high school varsity girls soccer coach talked about this during our interview and said something that stuck with me: “Injured athletes don’t stop needing a team just because they stop competing”. She talked about keeping girls involved during recovery, asking for their input, giving them roles, reminding them they still mattered. Not as a favor but because belonging should never be conditional upon performance.

Sports medicine professionals I’ve spoken with through HERcovery have said the same thing: athletes who stay emotionally connected to their teams during recovery often return with more confidence and less fear, not because their bodies heal faster, but because their identities don’t disappear. Research shows that social belonging acts as a protective factor during injury recovery, reducing anxiety and supporting long-term return to sport (Podlog & Eklund, 2007).

Why Girls Leave Sports and Why it Matters

By age 14, girls drop out of sports at almost twice the rate of boys. The reasons usually aren’t talent-related. They’re about pressure, body image, burnout, and not feeling like they belong. When girls leave sports, they don’t just lose an activity. They lose a space where their bodies are trusted instead of judged. Where their strength is celebrated. Where their voices are practiced.

The girls who stay aren’t always the best athletes. They’re the ones who felt like themselves there.

Why I Started HERcovery

HERcovery isn’t just about recovery from injury. It’s about helping girls stay in sports, in their bodies, and in themselves.

I started this project because I’ve lived the difference between environments that demand performance and environments that build girls. I’ve seen how belonging protects girls, physically, emotionally, and long after the season ends. And I’ve seen the resources and education that goes behind that much needed support.

For me, gymnastics wasn’t just a sport. It was the first place I didn’t have to shrink. And every girl deserves that.

Sources & Further Reading

• Allen, J. B. (2003). Social motivation in youth sport. Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology, 25(4), 551–567.

• Slater, A., & Tiggemann, M. (2011). Gender differences in adolescent sport participation, teasing, self-objectification and body image concerns. Journal of Adolescence, 34(3), 455–463.

• Eccles, J. S., & Barber, B. L. (1999). Student council, volunteering, basketball, or marching band: What kind of extracurricular involvement matters? Journal of Adolescent Research, 14(1), 10–43.

• Podlog, L., & Eklund, R. C. (2007). The psychosocial aspects of a return to sport following serious injury. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 19(2), 207–225.

• HERcovery Project — In Converstation... Series (2026)